Friday, May 4, 2012

Single Mom

The term has always grated my nerves more often than not.

A military spouse who's husband is deployed is not a single mother. Yes she is pulling the weight of both parents while her husband is gone, but she is married. She benefits from the income of her spouse, and the benefits of being a military dependent. She is (or is supposed to be anyhow) married and faithful to that one person (unless their rules of marriage state otherwise).

A divorced woman who's ex-husband plays a prominent roll in his childrens' lives, whether that be financially, emotionally, physically or all 3 is not single. She is divorced and she is not doing it alone.

Sure in the grand scheme of things, what other people consider themselves shouldn't affect me, but we all have our hot buttons, and this one, I guess just might be one of mine.

Once upon a time I was a single mother. I had no ex in the picture for my child, I had no benefit of child support, health coverage, or someone to help take care of my child so I could work. In fact, said child was 15 yrs old before she ever saw anything from her father. Said child went in increments of 5 yrs with no contact from him, as he drifted between women.

 It just seems like a slap in the face to all the women out there who have gone it alone, who have struggled, have known adversity, and plowed their way through.

That is my rant for the  day. Using the term single mom, when it doesn't really apply. Doing it for sympathy gets a 2 fist punch from this corner of the ring. What you really need to do is pick yourself up, and get a grip on life. There are so many people who would feel blessed to have half of what you have with your ex at least a part of your children's lives.


  1. It made me mad enough to spit anytime BM#2 called herself a single parent. Are you involved? No. Are you raising this child completely alone? Absolutely fucking not. GRRRRRRR!

  2. Hot button for you too ;) I know we all have ours, this one just eats me every time I see it. Especially when coming from a mom who gets 1500 a month in child support, can call her ex any time day or night and he will come unclog the toilet, fix the car, watch the kids so you can go on a date... and you still call yourself a "single" mom. No ma'am you are not.