Monday, February 13, 2012

Facebook Etiquette

While wandering around Facebook this morning (and thus avoiding homework) I found this gem.. I laughed so Im sharing!

Facebook Status/Posting Guide "Things you should know to keep from getting deleted/hidden/or hated by your friends"

by Richard Burkett 

1. Do not post song lyrics! No body but you thinks there is some deep meaning to that Rihanna song! They are not talking to you and most people think the music you listen to is shit!

2. If you have something to say to some one, message them.. Don't put some vague statement with "you know who you are" attached to the end! We don't care that you're not mature enough to handle your shit like adults! Feud on your own time! You know who you are! Haha

3. How much you are blessed or thankful for! We get it! Most of us are not thankful and could careless about how happy you are or what your favorite bible verse is! I believe in god.. I also believe that snickers are satisfying but you don't see that crap all over my status's! The only person who cares about this is your pastor, mommy, or the people you're trying to fool in thinking you're better than them... You go to church, don't drag me along!

4. Pictures of your kids as your profile pic.. I friended you not a 5 yr old named Talon or Apple or whatever you breeders want to call your spawn theses days! I don't want to look at my friends list and think I some how logged on to Sandusky's facebook! I get it that no one wants to see pics of your kids and you've now found a way to force us! Well played!

5. Sending me any request other than a friend request.. I do not want to play farmville, build an aquarium or an ant hill or anything with you! I have shit to do in my life and I'm truly sorry that you don't!

6. Random meaningless status update! Absolutely no one cares that you are about to eat, go to sleep, or jump in the shower but the person hiding in your closest waiting to kill you.. You boring ass! Twitter is for you and that's why I don't have it! No one but your mother cares about you just getting home and don't tell me "good night in ur status" these people really need a pet.

7. Posting more than 4 times an hour! I have other friends.. Let them say something too you fucking wall hog! Get off of Facebook for one moment and go outside! Facebook is not real life.. Do not post every moment of your WEDDING! What is wrong with you? Who posts from the alter! Cut the chord!

8. People who talk about their "haters" Ok Kanye! People not liking you because you're a douche does not constitute "haters!" You're most likely a 20yr old white girl that lives in some bullshit small town in Texas!! You have no haters just people who probably have a firm grasp on your nothing personality!

9. If you post a pic of yourself with you holding the camera... Sorry to break this to you but you have no friends.. If you can't find one person that can stand you long enough to hold a camera for 15 seconds then why should I be forced to look at a pic of your ugly face! Make friends and stop taking pics in the mirror/holding your arm out! I'm sure you're making duck face too! Haha losers..

10. Taking pictures of your food... why... i just don't get it.. Just eat you fucking food.. stop boring me with it.. what's next.. taking pictures of your shits...

If you are one or more of these people I am sorry you had to find out what people really think of you this way! everyone talks shit behind your back! I'm just trying to help you save a couple friends because you need them and if this offended you feel free to delete me because I most likely have already hidden you on facebook! Haha
With love,

That said Im guilty of 4, 5, 6 and sometimes 10.

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