Monday, January 10, 2011

The Adventures of George on a Snow Day

Last night, the weather man was calling for 2-4 inches of snow. I guess you knew that, I complained about the madhouse we call walmart yesterday. Midnight rolled around and no snow. So I went to bed, snuggled down all cozy under my down comforter. At 330 I woke up and looked out side. nope still no snow. So I set my alarm for 630 and fell back asleep.

At 630 I got lil dude up, and started getting him ready for school, packed my gym back to go work out, and my work stuff so I could work afterwards.  Like the faithful FB junkie that I am, I got on FB and saw where someone said the city schools were out for a snow day. A WHAT? There is no snow! So I got on the nearest TV stations website and low and behold, nothing in the surrounding 20 counties was conducting school today. All over snow that never fell.

This is going to sound like the story you heard as a kid, how your mom, or dad, had to walk 5 miles to school, uphill, both ways.... but when I was a kid we had to have 12 INCHES for them to call off school. Us kids, we were told the school bus was safer when it was full, because it was heavy and wouldn't slide. Is there logic in this? Who knows, but when you are a kid you tend to believe just about anything.

So I rearranged my plans, packed a bag of uneducational movies, and the charger for the dsi, because that thing has been a life saver for me since Christmas. I should have bought that for lil dude when he was 3, or heck maybe even 2!  We set out on our journey to Elizabethtown, then shot back down the interstate to Springfield, Goodlettsville and back up to Bowling Green before calling it a day.

In the process I learned things that only a 5 yr old can know. It started with the birds. I stopped to file some paperwork, and took advantage of McDonald's free wifi service. As he sat in the backseat patiently waiting for me to finish so that he could have a happy meal and run in the germ infested playland with all the other snot nosed kids who were not in school today, I hear... "hey mom, the beach birds need to go home. It's too cold for them here". Beach birds indeed. He is telling me about the smelly nasty garbage eating Seagulls that appear to grace the parking lot of every McDonald's in the nation. I should have known then I was in for a long day.

We ventured into a few stores as we are walking up to the doors at Kmart, he points to a little person going in, and scolds me, telling me its not polite to stare, in his LOUDEST whisper. I would have never even noticed this woman had he not pointed her out, and made me look like a gawking idiot. We wandered the store for a moment while I tried to make the red shade disappear from my face and the next thing I know, he has found the CHIA PETS. Not only does he want a chia pet, he wants the OBAMA one. He thinks its Fat Albert. We argue over it. At 5 the president of the United States is the last think on his mind.

Cha Cha Cha CHIA!

We wander some more, and everything appears to be right in our world. At least at the moment. When out of the blue, he asks me if he can have my gift card. In case he ever gets mad at me and runs away to a hotel. I believe he meant my debit card, or possibly even my credit card, neither of which is leaving my sweaty butt pocket! They say the darndest things!

As we finish up our shopping, and are walking to the front of the store, he lets me know that even though Im still fat, he loves me anyway. WTF? Okay I know I gained a few pounds over the holidays, but Im still NO WHERE NEAR the 230 I was last year when I started my diet. In fact I know darn good and well the scale told me this morning that Im 70 lbs less than that! Could I stand to lose another 20 lbs? Yes I could, but even my wii doesnt call me fat anymore!

So we head home, its a long drive and the conversation from the back seat is non stop. I pay little attention until we get close to the hospital where I was taken when I had my kidney stones. From the back I hear lil dude again, "HEY MOM! That's the hotel you stayed at when you died." First off its a hospital, not a hotel. Second, I didnt die, it was only kidney stones. He fights with me a good 5 minutes, letting me know that it might be a hospital now, but it was a hotel, they must have sold it.

I come in  and think Im going to get to study some for the MCAT test. Yep that's right among other things I'm studying my butt off in hopes of scoring well enough on the MCAT to get into Vanderbilt for med school. If all else fails Ill go to India, but Im rather partial to Tennessee. I turn my back for what amounts to probably 30 seconds, long enough to throw a frozen pizza in the oven for the guys. ( I dont cook on Monday's in case you didnt know) and I turn back around to find that my mouse, has become a snail... and people wonder why I tend to go around in circles and never get anything accomplished!

The Snail

Tonight he informed me that he would not be eating the tires from the pizza. He needs to save them for his cars. After 2 rounds of generic jenga, he is alseep. I hope they dont cancel school tomorrow. I can serve as a bus driver in my 4x4 truck, for everyone at the school if need be!

JENGA generic style ;)

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